Once again the holiday season is upon our doorstep – it starts in November with Thanksgiving, AND THEN Christmas/Hanukkah. Don’t try to skip Thanksgiving in my house - I WILL fight you.
With all of the magic and merriment, it’s no secret that the holiday season often comes with a boatload of stress too.
There are many reasons why this is the case, including but not limited to:
We’re overbooked
We feel compelled to attend a million holiday related events even if they clutter up our already too full schedules or are with people we don’t really enjoy spending time with. Or, we feel obligated to throw the same huge party we annually host ourselves, even though it became more trouble than it's worth a long time ago. This leaves us with little down time to rest and actually enjoy the special time of year.
We hang on to old traditions too tightly
We feel like we have to follow the same traditions of the past even if they no longer fit, or they create more stress than they are worth.
We spend way too much money
Blinded by an overabundance of the Christmas spirit, we spend a bazillion dollars every holiday season on gifts, decor, parties, etc. Then when the January credit card statement arrives, we wonder what in the name of St. Nick happened!
We drown in all the stuff
The sheer amount of stuff that comes into our homes tends to get much bigger this time of year, resulting in an influx of things that we don’t really need or maybe even don’t really want. While at the same time, we neglect to get rid of the old stuff that no longer serves us.
Even in the midst of the chaos, we’re lonely
The holidays are hard in general for many who have lost people who were dear to them, or have gone through something hard and isolating over the past year.
Impossible expectations
We demand perfection of ourselves when it comes to creating the “perfect” holiday, which television, magazines, and social media have already set an unattainable level of expectation for.
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Instead of tidings of great joy, all of this can result in exhaustion, disappointment, increased anxiety, feelings of overwhelm, and depression.
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In fact, during this season of supposed joy and peace, NAMI says here, that 64% of people with mental illness report that the holidays worsen their conditions.
So what can we do about this?
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This November, in preparation for the barrage of holiday-everything that is rapidly approaching, we can start believing that it’s okay to JUST SAY NO.
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“No” to the person, party, family gathering, tradition, or expectation that no longer serves you or your family and causes more harm than good.
Here are some things we can do to make this holiday season a life-giving one that truly promotes the special peace and joy that this special season offers.
It’s ok to make new traditions while remembering the old with affection
Let go of what once was lovely but no longer works, and embrace what is meant for today.
Honor those that came before us
We may simply not be able to avoid the bittersweet that can come with the holidays, but we can find ways to remember the past fondly by honoring those that we’ve lost. I like to do this by setting out a small decoration that belonged to each of my grandparents in order to demonstrate that a part of them is still here with us, and that they are not forgotten.
Set the right level of expectation
If a loved one recently passed away, or if you went through a bad divorce, or had a particularly tough year for other reasons, you don’t need to aim for the stars when it comes to planning your holiday season. Maybe all you need this year is a Charlie Brown tree, and to simply rest. It’s okay to give yourself permission to just say no to everything else.
Reign in the money hemorrhage
This one can be tricky given our consumer-minded society, but you can talk to family and friends about setting a gift spending limit, or forgoing gifts altogether and just enjoying being with each other while making new traditions that cost little to no money.
Prevent the stuff explosion
In cases where gift exchanging can't really be avoided, talk to family members about gifting mainly experiences instead of stuff. Additionally, a new tradition I recommend starting is a Holiday Double-Decluttering Tradition - before the holidays while putting up decorations, get rid of the old decor that you no longer like or use. Then after the holidays, in preparation for putting away the new gifts, do a whole-home decluttering to make sure that for every one thing that’s coming in, at least one thing is going out.
Give back
A great way to experience the peace, joy, and contentment of the season isn’t by getting in line at 3am on Black Friday for that new 75 inch TV, it's by pausing long enough to volunteer for and/or give to a charitable cause in order to remind us that we are so incredibly fortunate already.
Above all, keep it simple
Simply put, do what you enjoy and what will bring you and your family peace and joy, and don't do what hurts more than it helps. Remember what’s most important - spending time with those we love and making good memories. Looking back on my childhood, my most fond memories are not of the gifts I received, but of being with family, feeling the coziness of lights on the tree, and the beauty of snow on the ground. This is what I want for my daughter and what I try to keep in the forefront of my mind all season long.
All this can be quite a process, so you may not achieve a high level of “Holiday Zen” in just one season. But a good place to start this year is by simply being more mindful of what you give your time, money, and attention to, and make adjustments where you can.
And I wouldn’t be Crazy Health Lady if I didn’t add in a reminder that it’s ok to just say no to all of the excessive unhealthy foods and alcohol that seem to lie in wait around every corner all season long too! Keep your physical health a top priority throughout the holidays (your future January self will thank you!).
In the meantime, I hope you have a great Thanksgiving filled with gratitude, lots of laughs, and delicious, healthy food!
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