I love to play tourist in my own city. Living in Washington, DC means never running out of cool things to do. I recently visited the Library of Congress (something I’d never actually done despite growing up here), and had a lovely time admiring the beauty and soaking in the history of that remarkable place.
Yet throughout that experience, I couldn’t help but be bothered by noticing how many people were standing around me…on their phones.
There, standing in the majesty of the great hall of the 125 year old artistic marvel that is the Library of Congress, I witnessed person after person viewing the statues, mosaics, murals, famous commemorative arch, and grand staircase only through the screen on their phones. Some were taking dozens of selfies, some were taking videos, a few were even livestreaming.
It wasn’t so much the phone situation that bothered me (I pulled out my phone to snap a few pictures too), it was the fact that every single person I was watching would take their selfie or video, and then just walk away.
Despite the fact that THEY WERE LITERALLY STANDING IN the Great Hall of the Library of Congress, they never actually SAW the Great Hall of the Library of Congress with their own eyes! They didn’t take a minute to step back and see it for themselves. They missed out on what was right in front of them.
My journey of learning to be more present and mindful has forced me to reckon with when and how I use my phone, and I’ve made some changes as a result. I know firsthand how hard it is at times to not be constantly reaching for it, but I have found that the benefits of being more present in my life far outway the draw of a glowing screen.
The downside of my journey in this area is that now I am hypersensitive to seeing others use their phones to replace their eyes, and that day at the Library of Congress, it really troubled me.
Here’s some pretty disturbing statistics - reviews.org recently conducted a survey that found that 47% of Americans would say they are “addicted” to their phones (that’s just the percentage of folks who will admit it). Further, they say that the average American spends nearly 3 hours on their phones daily, and will spend nearly a month and a half (44 days!) on their phones in 2022.
We’ve become a society where we don’t experience life without a device of some kind in hand, and it’s coming at a huge cost. Our attention spans and ability to concentrate are horrible. Our collective anxieties, self-esteem, and FOMO are causing us to suffer. We’ve replaced genuine human interaction with a digital copy. We settle for small talk and selfies, thus our relationships are more surface and less real, and as a result, we’re lonelier and more unfulfilled than ever.
Is it a bit dramatic to say that all of the above is due, at least largely to our screen addictions? Maybe not…
I recently read the book, Stolen Focus, by Johann Hari which covers how and why we are all now totally addicted to our screens and how we are collectively as a culture missing out on our actual lives. And it’s not all our fault. Tech companies, especially social media companies, have stacked the deck against us being able to remain present in our own lives. The book explains in horrifying detail the practices that drive distraction and are designed to keep us scrolling for as long as possible. These companies understand human behavior and have intentionally designed their products to be addictive.
I highly recommend this book if you are at all interested in this topic (really as we all should be) or are looking for something to scare you straight when it comes to managing screen time.
Let me be clear, I’m totally not here to hypocritically hate on smartphones or other devices. Like many things, a digital tool is neither inherently good or bad, it simply depends on how we use it, and how we avoid letting it use us.
Smartphones are wonderful things in many, many ways. One of them being that I can type out this blog post on my device that can reach anyone in the world instantaneously via their device. Another being that I can stay in contact with my teen, which makes it slightly less worrying when she is out and about without me. Yet another, is that blessed thing that is the navigation app. I would frequently be lost if it wasn’t for Siri guiding me safely to my destination.
Yet…more and more it seems that excessive use of technology is taking us to an unhealthy place. We are seeking connection and validation from sources that can never really satisfy those needs, and we are left chronically lacking. We are gaining convenience, stimulation, and gratification via screen, but we are losing ourselves and our participation in our own real lives.
It’s a complicated problem. We certainly don’t want to get rid of all tech and go back to the stone age, but as the world moves faster and faster, we have a responsibility to educate ourselves in order to become aware of the nature and extent of the problem.
Moreover, we have a personal responsibility to assess our own use of technology and consider how we might be being influenced more than we should be. We need to reclaim our autonomy and take back control of our own time.
Consider doing a thorough evaluation of your free time phone use. Are you mostly using your phone for things that add value to your life, such as keeping in contact with loved ones, listening to podcasts that teach you something or make you laugh, having Siri give you directions – again, thank goodness especially for that one!, or reading a crazy blog that informs you on valuable health topics (hehehe..I had to include that one)?
Or, are you using your phone for things that might simply be, at best, just a distraction and waste of your time, and at worst, a negative rewiring of your brain (things like scrolling endlessly and mindlessly on most social media, playing a game that has an ad interruption every 5 minutes, or obsessively reading doom and gloom news articles?)
Ask yourself the hard question, am I controlling my device, or is my device controlling me?
Here’s a few simple ways to reclaim yourself little by little by living in the present:
Go for a walk and leave all devices at home (or at least turn them to “do not disturb”). Using only your eyes, notice what you see, hear, and smell.
Or ask a friend to meet IRL (that’s “in real life” for you techies!) for a hike or a tea. Spend that time focused only on being a friend.
Have a phone-free family dinner or game night and look your kids or your partner in the eyes to show them that, not only do they have your full attention, but that they are worth far more than a device.
Take more mental pictures. They truly do last longer.
Like most things, it all starts with mindfulness. So now that you’ve reached the end of this post, let’s shut off our devices, and go use our eyes!
Recommended Resource:
Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention - and How to Think Deeply Again, by Johann Hari
https://stolenfocusbook.com/
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